10:22:00 PM
Fulham in 18th?
More play-acting sports journalism with yours truly whee lets try and have some fun :)
CHRIS COLEMAN & COOKIE-CRUMBLE CRAVEN COTTAGERS COLLAPSE INTO COCA COLA CHAMPIONSHIP.
by Me, like who else.
CRAVEN COTTAGE (LONDON) - Fulham fans weep in anguish as their hometown club sinks into their inevitable fate of relegation. Many a time these hardcore supporters have frequented the famous Cottage, sparing neither their money to purchase Club merchandise, nor their throats. Screaming out for the players to hustle when behind, letting out shrill catcalls when opponents get a penalty in their favour; all this will be a rare sight once the new season begins next year.
Fulham's opponents on Matchday 1? Division One's seemingly permanant residents, Derby County.
Why? Many fans might look back to reflect on the past season; was the manager to blame for bad decisions? Were the players just not up to standard? Or was it just a shortcoming on their part to favour this part of London? Were Fulham meant to be up there with London rivals Chelsea, Arsenal, and Tottenham?
Maybe not.
The Fulham team boasts many big names. In goal sits The Flying Finn Antti Niemi; an impregnable fortress defense between the sticks; acrobatic, agile and a fantastic distributer of the ball. In defense, USA defender Carlos Bocanegra has both experience, strength and a defensive mind; key attributes for a defender. The midfield hails names such as Jimmy Bullard, Niclas Jensen and even Papa Bouba Diop, who, if one can recall, score the only goal on opening night of the World Cup in the Senegal-France match.
With all these big names, how can a club go wrong? Chelsea are high and flying with 2 successive Premiership trophies in the cabinet, and Manchester United currently is putting up an equally strong showing.
However, one little hitch in the "big-name" theory is the language barrier theory.
Yes, the players all speak one language; football. But isn't it amazing how people speaking the same language misunderstand each other? A person in America with an ear for only precise English can have no idea what a Singaporean is saying, for instance (no offense to either Countries). This is because the "English" we have here is not identical! Similarly, "football" as a common language is not any reason for perfection.
Take the ManU-Fulham match. Ian Pearce messed up his communitcation with Niemi in goal, and the ball sailed right through his own net. Many a time, Fulham messed up in communication aspects. Simply because, the star-studded side all come from different parts of the huge spinning globe of ours!
Niemi is from Finland, Bocanegra is from the USA, Bouba Diop is from Senegal, Christianval is from France, just to name a few. Mixing and matching players with talent doesnt assure an instant gel-together of the individuals, and this seems to be the Fulham exco's POV looking at the current situation and his transfers.
Another point for concern is their lack of instinct in front. Collins John has been unreliable and inconsistent, Heinar Helguson seems to be closed down by defenders too quickly, and with no other option up front, no goals seem to come in. Jimmy Bullard has been working his socks off to get the goals especially against Sheffield Utd, but in the event of an injury? Who will take over? Jensen, Pembridge, Rosenior, Brown; none of them can replace Bullard.
Over-reliance is a bad thing.
And what about the rojak defense made up of an Irishman, an Englishman, an American and a Frenchman seems to be as tight as the Titanic's bottom. Many holes needed to be plugged desperatly from Fulham sinking into Division1, and with the closure of the transfer market, fans can only sit back and hope.
Chris Coleman better get packing, cos fans go after manager's heads once relegation comes a knocking. Also, he better get an ironing board ready at his new club because fans would be dying to give him a chily farewell.
His suit is cold.
---- end of transmission.
walao dam tiring zzzzzzz
